I Like Grapes

Has anyone ever seen the Ellen Degeneres stand up where she talks about trying to fall to sleep, but all you can do is think about stupid stuff like, "I like grapes..." It's so funny. Unfortunately, I'm wide awake and it's 5 am. This is my thought process as I woke up.

(To myself in my head:)
how do you make pastry cream? 3 quarts of cream, 10 oz. of corn startch, but how much sugar? and how many eggs? whole eggs or just yolks? Then whipped cream and bananas...no, wait, that's banana cream pie. Mmmmm...banana cream pie. Oh, shit, I'm awake. It's still dark out, I shouldn't be awake. Ok, keep you're eyes closed, you'll go right back to sleep. I know creme brulee has 19 egg yolks and 1 1/4 cups of sugar, but it doesn't have any corn starch and only 1 1/2 quarts of cream, then 1/2 quart of milk. SHHH! STOP THINKING! GO TO SLEEP! ok, ok, ok...damn diet coke. why does it have to be so tasty and so full of caffine? I wonder what the girl downstairs is doing...maybe her kid is up. We could play with his cool toys. what are their names? Trevor, I think, is his...like the frog in Harry Potter.

(I open my eyes, but keep talking in my head:)

WAIT! I SAID KEEP THEM CLOSED! now I'll never get back to sleep...I could go sign up for cable and internet...aw, but look at Emmett, I can't move, I'll wake him up.

(Now my other personality is awake and starts to talk)

ME #2: He's a cat. You can wake him up. You have been all night, every time you move.
ME #1: Not on purpose. No, he's too cute lying there. Besides, maybe if I close my eyes and stop thinking...

(I close my eyes...)

I like grapes...HAHAHA...Ellen is so funny