It's Funny Because It's True...

I got one of those "You Know You're From Buffalo If..." e-mails the other day...it was the first time I actually thought it was funny. Probably because it was the first time I got one that (#1) I actually read it and (#2) I'm old enough to understand that not everywhere in the world is as "special" as Buffalo...

While living out of town, you've said to your friends....
"back home, you could get a case of Labatts for twelve bucks!"
"back home, you could get a 30 pack of Genny for nine bucks!"
"back home, this house would go for only 80K!"
"back home, you could get a large cheese and pepperoni pizza for seven bucks!"
"back home, the bars close at 4:00 AM!"
"you call this snow?"
"you call this cold?"
"you call this a supermarket?"
"you call these wings?"
"you call this pizza?"
"you call this beef on weck?"
You know that "uppers" and "lowers" aren't drugs.
You take real chicken wings, subs, beer, hot dogs, and pizza back with you after a visit home to Buffalo.
You don't let a blinding snowstorm stop you from driving 70 MPH down the Thruway during rush hour.
You believe snow on Halloween is good because its bound to warm up in November (Moms will say you need the first freeze for Indian Summer).
You hate Genesee Cream Ale, but crave it when you're in another state.
You don't put away the winter clothes, they stay in the front closet year round.
You've fallen asleep waiting for the light to change at the intersection of Niagara Falls Boulevard and Sheridan Drive.
You think the idea of "California pizza" is as sacriligious as cheering on the Miami Dolphins.
You watch the Bills on TV with the sound turned down, and the radio turned to the game.
You still can't say Interstate instead of Thruway when you relocate to another state.
You've been around Buffalo a long time if you've ever called... Bon-Ton - "AM&A's" Kaufmanns - "Hengerer's" or "Sibley's" Quality Markets - "Bells" Buffalo State College - "State Teacher's" Daemen College - "Rosary Hill College" TCI - "Courier Cable" Adelphia - "International Cable" Super Flea - "GEX" (or I.D.S.) Jubilee - "Super Duper "
Half of your friends moved to Charlotte, North Carolina ... and the other half went to Florida.
You use the word "the" before the numbers of expressways, like "The 90", "The 400" and so on.
You save Canadian coins to use at tollbooths and parking meters.
You've held a "wave-a-thon" at four way stop intersections ("No, you go...")
When someone speaks of "family restaurant," you think of names like "The Olympia," "The Hillview", and "Your Host." (not Denny's or Perkins)
You can tell what part of town someone is from because of their accent (especially dem der Chickatavagas town der, an' de Wesside).
You've ever feasted on these treats ... real chicken wings (not "Buffalo
wings") real beef on weck (and you call it "beef on wick") real pizza, with no crust, cut lengthwise into strips (ala "Bocce's"), charcoal broiled hot dogs (ala "Ted's"), Niagara Street clams, Anderson's custard, pierogis, Weber's mustard,St Joseph's day bread, Miller's Horseradish! and washed it down with .. Genessee Cream Ale, in a 16 ounce bottle ("'da pounder") loganberry, Vernor's OV, Labatt's Blue, Visniak or Black Rock pop
You slam on the brakes and slow to a crawl whenever you see the "Village of Kenmore" sign.
You watched Canadian television, just so you could see U.S. shows a day or two earlier than they would appear in the States.
You can make the coins land perfectly in the toll basket at 20 MPH or higher.
You think it's quite acceptable to take a day off work on ... Dyngus Day, St. Joseph's Day, St. Patrick's Day, St. Stanislaus Day, Ash Wednesday, the Monday after a Bills victory.
You use your garage as the living room during the summer, putting a big screen over where the overhead door would be.
You still go to all the neighborhood and ethnic festivals, even though they're really all the same.
You don't really think there's anything wrong with Pat Gambino Ford commercials.
You know the lyrics to .... "You Know We're Gonna' Win That Cup", The Bills "Shout" song, Any song by Rush, Kim Mitchell or Honeymoon Suite, "Talkin' Proud", The Crystal Beach "pay one price" jingle, The Tops "Tops never stops saving you more" jingle, The Sattlers "998 Broadway" jingle, even if you weren't alive when they were still open
You've nearly gotten into fights over topics like.... Malecki vs. Sahlen vs Wardynski vs. Shelly vs. Redlinski vs Zwiegels; Anchor Bar vs. Duff's; Bocce Club vs. Leonardi's; Tops vs.. Wegmans
You go to Niagara Falls for the outlet shopping and the Italian food, not the scenery.
You spend hours planning drives to avoid toll booths.
Your snowblower has more horsepower than your car ... and use it about as often.
You've ever sarcastically said "Fun? Wow!"
One of your friends claims to have known Ani DiFranco, a Goo Goo Doll or Baby Joe Mesi from high school.
You have more than one shovel in your garage.
Your car has more rust than exposed paint.
You stocked up on Malecki hot dogs after you heard the company was going out of business.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas. (YOU MEAN It's
NOT?????)
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction.
It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.